If you are looking for something a little bit out of the ordinary to jazz up your garden, driveway, or even your conservatory, then you are going to love our list of the naughtiest garden gnomes on the market.
Far from the traditional rosy-cheeked, bespectacled old fellas that we are used to seeing perched by the pond, these little chaps are rude, nude, and very funny!
They make fantastic gifts to give humorous mates, and they are always a talking point at garden parties and barbecues. There will be no stony silences in the conversation with one of these guys staring up at you!
So read on and have a chuckle.
Our selection of naughty garden gnomes will put a smile on anyone’s face! Just be warned, the following article does contain bad language and scenes of nudity!
“GO AWAY” Garden Gnome Plaque
First up, we have this delightful wall plaque, which really does flip the traditional “Welcome Home” Gnome on its head. It also flips you the finger!
This plaque is made from resin and measures 5.91 x 2.26 x 7.87 inches. It can be displayed as a free-standing statue, or hung on a wall or tree trunk (at eye level if you want optimum impact). It has been hand painted in bright, eye-catching colors so that no one can accuse this naughty gnome of blending in!
The finish is weatherproof, so it can withstand sunshine, rain and high winds – though he doesn’t seem happy about any of them.
We love the addition of his cute squirrel friend (also flipping the middle finger) and the edgy, horror film-esque font that the words “Go Away” are written in. A perfect welcome plaque!
Oktoberfest Otto Naked Gnome With Beer
Next up, we have something a little more lifelike for you. In fact, this naked Oktoberfest gnome is so lifelike, you could be forgiven for thinking you have had real elves move into your plot! He stands at 13.5 inches, which is just taller than your average bottle of beer (very fitting), and his resin base means that he is stable and free standing (despite being very drunk).
This naked gnome is made by Design Toscano, who really are the experts when it comes to naughty garden ornaments. Oktoberfest Otto is grotesque in the best sense of the word. His cup doth overflow with mead, and his belly doth protrude. We particularly love his long green elf hat, which really adds a pop of color to brighten your window display.
Otto’s winky is covered by a very chic and discrete bottle cap, adding a touch of class to this statue. His heart tattoo and half-smoked cigar all add to his loveable charm. We think he makes a great choice of gift for drinkers of German beer.
Drunken Gnome Statue, Fallen Down
There is no need to worry about our third choice of naughty gnome blowing over in the wind because he is already lying down! This cheeky chap has overdone it on his “Evil Genius Liquor” and is out cold on the patio slabs. His squashed face and bare butt will be a familiar and heartwarming sight to many.
He measures 6.3 inches from the point of his cap to his toes, and his butt is a whole 1.5 inches off the ground. This drunken lout looks particularly funny when planted amongst the flowerbeds or buried in uncut grass. His ass poking up through the grass is a poetic notion.
He comes in a choice of blue or red attire (something for all tastes) and he is made from environmentally friendly materials and non-toxic paint, so your garden will thank you too!
Best of all, this rude gnome comes in Styrofoam packaging, so you can be sure he won’t incur any injuries during shipping (other than the banging headache he is likely to wake up with).
‘Stinky’ The Mooning Garden Gnome
Stinky may not have made it into Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, but that does not mean he doesn’t deserve his day in the sun. This adorable statue by Design Toscano is cheeky (in every sense of the word) and very, very cute.
Stinky’s cartoonish features make him almost family-friendly (though not quite), so he is a great choice for those who want a little bit of naughtiness without being crude.
Stinky has a lovely peachy butt and is holding his nose as he squats on your lawn. He squats at 9.5 inches high and weighs just 1 pound. He has been hand cast using real crushed stone mixed with highly durable resin so he can stand up to all weather conditions, and he has been finished with UV protection paint.
Stinky can liven up any outdoor space and is a very cute gnome who would make a delightful gnome gift for anyone. Thank you, Design Toscano!
Naked Gnome Nudist Couple
It’s about time we throw in something for the lovers out there, and this pair of cheeky gnomes are just the thing. The female gnome has her boobs on full display, and the male gnome shows off his winky proudly.
These guys are body positive and we love it. We also love their matching hats, sandals, and shades which add a perfect accent of color to the overall aesthetic.
Each garden gnome statue stands at 5.9 inches tall and is made from environmentally friendly, non-toxic materials. They are so small that they actually work really well as indoor desk decorations as well as outdoor garden decor.
They can be purchased individually, but we think they work best as a double act. If you love a bit of naked gnome fun, then these two are the duo you’ve been looking for.
Rainbow Fart Gnome With Solar LED Lights
As far as rude garden gnomes go, this next pick is a premium option, and be warned, he comes with a heftier price tag than many others on our list… but just look at him!
This garden friend is bending over to let a huge rainbow fart burst free from his buttocks, making him a truly vibrant figurine. Since rainbows occur when sunshine meets rain, we think this fella really will work well in all seasons.
You don’t need to worry about paint discoloration because he is a quality designer resin garden gnome with UV protection as well as a frost and rain protective coating.
Best of all, this garden elf statue lights up from within! That’s right, his in-built solar panel absorbs sunlight for 5-8 hours during the daytime and then automatically emits a warming glow for 8-10 hours overnight. He will brighten up any backyard (quite literally) and make an excellent gift.
Flower Girl Naked Gnome Lady
This next pick is an Ebros rude garden gnome with a whole lot of flower power. She stands at 13.5 inches tall and is made from exclusive quality designer resin. This garden statue is curvaceous and sexy, and she works particularly well as a fairy garden gnome surrounded by flowers and natural beauty.
She makes an ideal gift for hippies and people who love that retro aesthetic from the 1960s and 70s. She is making a peace sign with her hand, wearing the peace sign on a necklace, and is absolutely covered in daisies!
We love her pert butt and cheeky smile. We also love how colorful she is, as she really will brighten up any backyard garden. This is one garden statue that will put a smile on everyone’s face.
“Beer Garden” Happy Gnome And Sign
This next garden statue is not so much naughty as he is nice! He is the perfect gift for those who would appreciate a humorous twist on the traditional garden gnome.
This little guy is raising his tankard in a toast and leaning on a pointed arrow sign which reads “BEER GARDEN”! He works particularly well when placed on a walkway or path, or outside a garage, shed or mancave of any kind!
The craftsmanship is excellent on this garden statue, and we love the natural facial features and realistic details. He is giving you a big thumbs up, and this sums up the positive vibes he exudes.
This garden gnome makes for whimsical decor and is made from very durable, high quality resin. He can point you towards the beer garden whether it is raining, snowing, or blistering sunshine. He stands at 10 inches tall and is great for all year-round fun!
Carefree, Hippie, Pot Smoking Gnome Set
Now for another great Ebros gift idea, this time in the form of a thrilling threesome! This pot-smoking trio of naughty gnomes is bright, bold, and beautiful! They can be placed around a pond, on a patio, or on the lawn, and work especially well when they are seen to be interacting with each other.
One holds a sign saying “Keep ON The Grass”, another holds a cushion that reads “Free Love”, and the third wears a skimpy flag over his winky. They all have large doobies in their mouths and sport tie-dye tops and hats. They are A LOT of fun and will bring the party to even the sleepiest of neighborhoods.
They are made from highly durable resin and painted in weather-resistant paint, so the party doesn’t have to stop come rain or shine.
They stand at 13.5 inches high (and high really is the only word to describe them), and their carefree attitude is infectious!
“WELCOME” Butt Naughty Gnome
This next naughty gnome is not just fun – he is also flexible! We wish we could touch our toes like that! In fact, this guy has wedged his head between his legs and has his butt high in the air for all to see. The word “WELCOME” is printed proudly across the cheeks and a tiny bird is perched on top.
Who wouldn’t love to be greeted by this splendid sight as they get home from work or carry the groceries in from the car. His topsy-turvy yoga position is beguiling and will enliven even the most bare front yards.
This garden statue stands at 7 inches tall and is made from high quality weather-resistant resin. His big black boots form a sturdy base so that even though he is standing on his head, he is in no danger of toppling over. Respect.
Zen Yoga Meditation Gnome (Flicking Middle Finger)
And now, we have a cheeky garden gnome that is so subtly subversive, most of your guests will never even realize he is doing anything cheeky at all.
At first glance, this guy looks super chilled. He is sitting cross-legged with bare feet, his eyes are closed and he is clearly in a deep meditation. There is a beautiful butterfly in his beard and serenity written all over his little face. But look closer, and you’ll see he is flicking you the middle fingers!!
That’s right! This guy is saying “F-You World” and we love it! His knowing smile suddenly makes so much more sense!
He sits at 9.5 inches tall and 8 inches wide, and is made from high quality resin. He has been hand-painted in vibrant colors and finished with a weather-resistant protective coating. Ooommmm…
“Pool Party Pete” Naked Gnome
And finally, we have something for those of you who love a water feature in your back garden. Whether it’s a pond, a fountain, a rock pool or a swimming pool, “Pool Party Pete” will look awesome posing next to it.
Pete is totally naked but for his big green rubber ring and his all-important pointy gnome cap.
He looks ready to take on the waves, and even has a pair of goggles on his head (safety first people). He is an inspiration to those who feel unmotivated about taking the plunge, and a reminder to us all of the importance of daily exercise.
Pete stands at 12 inches tall, and our favorite detail is the white beard on his rubber ducky to match his own. Best of all – Pete is painted with water-resistant paint (although it should be noted that he does not float!).
Final Thoughts
Garden statues are great additions to any garden, adding charm and character while providing a focal point. They can be used to create a theme around your garden, such as a Zen Garden, a Beach House, or a Poolside Retreat.
And if you want to add some cheekiness to your garden, then a naughty gnome is the ideal ornament for you!